Life's value
by Daruku Janubu
Summary: One night a little child arrives to the emergency room. He’s dying, and lonely. Would this be what’s needed to make Doctor Riku Dawn recover his heart?


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts

Warning: May have grammar mistakes, sorry for that

Being a doctor means you have to deal with disaster almost every day, they say that if you don't become insensible then you'll become crazy, for the weight of a life is to much to bear, that's why many doctors give up their hearts for the sake of their jobs and conscious, but is it really ok? To lose the sight of what is really important; to become cold and even uncaring… many think it's the best to stay sane. He was one of them.

Doctor Riku Dawn was a recognized figure in the emergency room, both because of his skills and for his cold attitude. He had been in the job for many years, and it took from him that innocent emotion of the freshly graduated doctors that made them only want to help. No, for him dead was something that came if you were unlucky and a human life didn't had a great value except from his medical experience. A death did not affect him at all, it was something of every day, after all people die every day and you can't save them always right?... but he was going to learn how to recover his heart in one night.

It was really late, almost twelve o'clock, he was one of the only doctors assigned to the floor. It was pretty boring thought, there were not patients. To many it was a miracle, but to him it was just a way to waste time, why was he here if there wasn't any patient?

But just as he thought of that, the lights went on and he started to here the nurses' movements guided by his colleague orders. He thought of helping but then again it seemed to only be a few injured people, maybe two or three, and there was another doctor, certainly it wasn't something that serious, besides, years of experience told him that too many hands were trouble and not help.

He continued to wait for someone to need his knowledge, when one of the other doctors entered the room. He had a grim expression, the one that clearly said that it didn't go well. He felt a little pity, because this was a newly graduated doctor, and he knew this might be his first time to see something like this.

Riku stood up from his couch and walked to the younger doctor to take a look at his eyes. They were lost and confused _"The classic look of a rookie on his first defeat…that's why I hate new guys…"_

"I….I…I really wanted to help… Doctor Dawn… I…" the younger seemed to be about to have an emotional break down.

"It's ok Tidus, you did your best" said a another doctor entering the room "You should go home and rest… this things happen sometimes" he added while putting a comforting hand over the younger's shoulder.

"Doctor Strife…I…" Tidus took a deep breath and then smiled a little "thank you"

Then the young doctor took his leave.

"You know, it'll be better if you were honest with him" said Riku while taking seat on the couch again.

"What do you mean now?" he asked taking a seat.

"That death is something of every day in the hospital, that he will loose many patients in a year, that he would have to deal with his families about their loss; so why don't tell him to get over it and continue… I mean, it'll be easier for him" Riku said crossing his arms.

"(Sigh) I know death is always present… but to think of it as something that sometimes you cannot stop, is better than to think of it as something without importance"

"Ha! Well that's your theory… so… Cloud, would you mind filling me in?" he said recovering his serious tone.

"Well… it was a car accident, a family car crashed with a truck; obviously the man driving was drunk. There were four people on the car. A man, who apparently died almost immediately after the impact; a woman, and two young kids, the three came here in critical condition, the women and one o the kids died unfortunately a few minutes from arriving…"

"And the other child?" he asked

Cloud looked at his chart and gave a saddened sigh.

"He's got serious internal damage… a surgery is out of question for it won't stop the inevitable and could even make it worse. That's why I thought better for Tidus to go home… I don't want him here when the child dies… it would be too much…"

"So the kid got his minutes counted, huh?" he said with little interest.

"You know?" asked Cloud with irritation "sometimes I asked myself when you lost your heart? You used to care for your patients, now look at you, a child lost all his family, everyone… and now is dying alone in a hospital bed, confused and scared… but all you do is sit and relax?"

"And what do you want me to do? Didn't you say he was already dying? Do I look like a saint or some god to solve that?" he stood up annoyed "Cause I doubt I'll pull a miracle out of my sleeve, and besides, it's not like your doing something also, so don't bother me with your useless feelings" he said while walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Walk. Clear my head from your weakness"

As he looked at his companion leaving Cloud just whispered something.

"Caring, is never a weakness… I hope you'll remember Riku…"

Ooo

Walking down the hall, he noticed two stretchers, the two bodies over covered with white sheets. He got near the one that had a smaller figure, and slowly uncovered the face of the dead corpse. The sight made something, very deep within him stirred. It was the face of really young boy, maybe five or six years, his bloodied blond hair was a mess, many cuts covered his face and he still had his eyes half lidded. He noticed they were blue in color and held the specter of fright. He solemnly closed the child's eyes while repeating on his mind _"Remember, he's only a bunch of meat and bones now… only a dead corpse"_

"Uh… doctor" said a shy nurse behind him. He quickly covered the corpse and turned "Would you mind signing this, so the bodies may be sent to the morgue?"

Riku nodded and sign the white paper that contained all the data of the dead corpses that his colleagues had written down.

After handing over the paper, Riku continue his walk.

Ooo

After walking thru the empty dark halls, Riku started to remember the first time someone had died on his care. He remembered it was a traumatic experience, but it was also the time his mentor told had told him for the first time that being a doctor meant that he would have to accept things, and that sometimes medicine couldn't do anything, so becoming strong will make it easier.

"_Becoming strong, to stop these things from having affect on me… that's what Ansem sensei _thought me… _Cloud is wrong"_

Suddenly something made him stop; it was a little light coming from one room. He got near to see what it was. He saw startled a young boy sitting on his hospital bed. He was little, and his figure was enveloped on the darkness only receiving the light from a far off lamp. Riku deducted it was the kid from the car accident, but couldn't believe he was able to sit, after all, Cloud said he was dying. The doctor decided to turn on the light, but when he did the little boy let out a painful cry _"The trauma might have affected him very much, better weaken the light"_ He calibrated the light strength so it wont hurt the injured kid, but leaving enough to see his face and identify his characteristics: brunette hair, little and weakened body structure, blue eyes; they had put him an IV and had a tube on his nose to help him breath. The boy turned to see the doctor as he neared him.

"Whe…where am I?" he asked in a rather dry voice.

Riku was surprise the kid could talk, but cover it with his impartial face; he went to the kid's bed and took the clipboard. He read the diagnosis _"Internal bleeding… damage … brain… Jesus… this kid is dead…but how can he be awake and…"_

"M-mister…." The little voice waked him from his thoughts "I…. I…"

Riku sigh, why did he even care to enter in the first place? Maybe all that Cloud said was finally affecting him.

"You are in the hospital young one. You were on an accident" he said in a monotone.

The child seemed confused at first, and then he looked around.

"Kaasan…. Tousan… ni-nichan" (mom, dad, brother) he said looking around "w-where are… them?" his voice sounded sad.

Riku found himself doubting what to tell the boy… it wouldn't be nice to tell a dying kid that his family was already dead… it would scare him and confuse him; now he really hated himself for having entered.

"They are somewhere else" he answered trying to sound as nice as possible.

"Who you?" asked the little one with a look that even the cold hearted Riku had to admit would have been adorable if it wasn't for the dried blood and scratches that were visible over the youngster's body.

"I'm a doctor… Doctor Riku Dawn, do you have a name little one?" _"Great now I'm chatting with a kid… What the hell is wrong with me, I should send him to sleep so he won't waste energy"_

"I Sora" answered the boy

"How old are you?" that question seemed to startle the boy, who was giving it a long time to answer it.

"I this" he said raising six fingers.

Riku looked a little grim about that answer _"the brain damage that Cloud had speculated in his diagnosis might be the reason for the kid's talking problem"_

"I… mm…"little Sora started to rock back and ford with a painful expression.

Riku went to his side in a second, which surprised himself.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a real gentle voice.

"I pain… here pain…" he said almost crying.

Riku knew it wasn't the internal injuries, for they were so deep that the body would not feel the pain especially after the sedatives, but it may be some more superficial injury, deciding that more medicine would not be good for a kid this weak, he did something he hadn't done to any patient ever. He took the little kid in a hug and rubbed little circles on his back, slowly soothing him.

"It's ok… if you don't move the pain will slowly go away"

Little Sora stopped moving his body and relaxed on the hug.

"O…k…" he whispered "Riku don't goes away?"

Something on that voice, maybe the pain, or the confidence it showed to him made Riku felt that something stir again on his chest, and that something pushed him to do something strange to him again. The doctor got in the bed and using his body as a pillow helped the boy to lay back.

Sora seemed happy at that simple thing, for he cuddled a little against the elder's chest.

"I… was to see her…" he said.

"Who?" asked Riku _"why this does feels important? Why did I even care?"_

There was silence in the room for a few seconds, the only sound being the heart machine indicating Sora's weak heart rate.

"She… cousin… her birthday…today…" he said with great effort "n-ichan…and… I… got present for her… I put it… on pocket, silver crown… it was ours… she liked it very…many much…her favorite"

Riku smiled at the idea, it just seemed so sweet of the kid, even on his state, to care for that.

"You, smile…you nice…"

"Uh?"

"You …. Stayed… I… thank you…" those little hands held on to his shirt "I lonely… afraid… you came and stay…"

Those words were something no one had told him since long ago. He was nice? He could be many things but nice were not one of those things. But then, this little kid, that was in pain and standing in the line between life and dead called him nice… that was what he needed to finally identify that strange sensation… it was compassion… something he had banned from his life long ago so he would not feel the pain others went thru… it was back and it was making him feel useless right now.

"I… I wish I could help you more…"he said and it was completely sincere.

"Sora, happy you here… then not alone… now I can sleep…" he said tiredly.

"Sleep?" Riku felt dread pulling its way on his mind.

"Sora tired… wanted to sleep… but Sora never… sleep alone… me scares….nichan always" The boy cough a little and winced in pain.

Riku hold him even closer so to give comfort of some kind. He felt guilty, for his thoughts earlier, for not helping when they arrived, for allowing this boy's brother to die… for so many things he could barely contain himself. Riku felt the need to cry, to yell at himself, so many patients in his life and he finally wakes up to notice the terrible doctor he was… it was only because a little dying kid thought him good, had he really waste years of his life to realize something so easy, and why didn't he heard Cloud, or his other companions… why… why?

"Mister Riku… if Sora sleeps… will I see kaasan, tousan and nichan again?" asked the little one holding the elder's shirt a little harder.

Riku took a deep breath, it was the time to be strong… to help not to harm…

"When Sora goes to sleep… his family will be with him" he said sadly accepting the nearing fate.

"Will… Riku be there?" he asked looking at the doctor's eyes. The question almost break the resolution on his mind, he put a sad but real honest smile on his face.

"No… I won't… but maybe… I'll see Sora again… sometime…" he answered holding back his tears.

"Oh…" Sora seemed disappointed but then smiled and raised his hand and a little extending his pinky finger "promise?"

Riku looked at the finger, a promise of heart… he almost laughed at the idea; he had not done it since he was a kid… but then again remembering wasn't bad anymore.

"Promise" he said taking the little finger on his own and shaking it a little.

Little Sora smiled and cuddled back on his knew friend's chest.

"Good night… Riku" said the little boy as he closed his tired eyes.

Riku smiled a little and kissed him on the forehead good night.

"Night Sora… I'll stay here… so you can rest" he said. His hand caressed the little ones head with a strange sense of love and care… almost father like, a feeling that made the little one smile before falling asleep.

Riku entered in deep thought. He thought back to his mentor's words and finally understood their meaning _"Ansem meant to be strong… but being strong doesn't mean to be uncaring… but to care enough to overcome the pain… I have never felt so at peace with myself…this little one thought me this… and he doesn't even know it… I'm here… keeping someone's baby boy company… and I feel I'm finally on the right place at the right time…"_

Riku continue to reflect on his life, to think about the changes he had to do, about the things he needed to say to his colleagues; that was till a sound cut his mind track.

It was a dull sound, a sound he knew very well, and even thought he expected to hear it, it was enough to finally make his first tears fall. It was the perpetual sound of the cardio machine indicating the end of someone's life.

Riku looked at the little child on his arms, to him he looked like he was still sleeping, that little smile still on his face. Riku smiled at him, then swiftly disconnected the machine so it would stop the tragic sound and taking the little corpse in his arms he tuck him in with the sheets.

"Sora…"Riku said between silent sobs "rest well…. Little one" Riku then rested himself by the child's side and embrace him again, very close. "I'll be here for you…. And I promise will see again… and that time… I swear I'll be the good person you thought I was" Riku's tears fell on the younger's face, almost giving the idea that the child was crying with him "I swear…"

Ooo

In the morning doctor Cloud decided to go see his little patient, how he would have wanted to stay with the young boy, but he had to do something important. All night he stayed awake with the officers looking through police files and telephones to find at least someone that belonged to the family that had been on the accident, after all, someone out there had to be worried about them and had the right to know what happened. He did found someone, the sister of the man … she was crashed by the news… but agreed to come to recognize the bodies and sign the police's papers necessary to be able to recover the corpses for proper funeral. How he hated to do this job when these things happened, but he learned that death was a natural part of life and even if painful sometimes you could not win against it.

Tired he reached the room, but what he saw made him almost fall to the floor. There on the bed, hugging the boy's body was his cold hearted colleague. Cloud got near, looked at him better and notice some dried tears on his face. He took the little child's vitals but found none, the kid was dead as he painfully expected… but maybe, he wasn't alone. There was this truly happy smile on his face, which made him think so.

"Riku…Riku!" said Cloud trying to wake up his colleague "Wake up Riku"

Riku turned a little and open his eyes.

"Cloud? What hour is it?" he asked still sleepy.

"6:15… your turn is almost over… our replacements might arrive soon" he said "you should call the nurses… we need to take him to the morgue for when his family arrives"

Riku looked sadly at the little child on his arms; he seemed in a peaceful sleep, which made him smile. Cloud couldn't believe he saw Riku smile. Gently he laid the body on the bed and kissing his forehead goodbye, he covered his body with the white sheets.

When Riku turned to see Cloud, he noticed he was being looked with a surprise face.

"Heh… I think… that some things need to change… and trying will be easier if I count with your help my old friend" the look on Riku's face showed the truth on his words, it made Cloud smile.

"When ever you need it pal"

Both doctors walked out of the room, and walked down the hall when Riku thought o something.

"Cloud, any idea where they put the little one's clothing?" he asked.

"OH… yes… it was on the nurse's deposit, but it may be dirty… besides we need to wait for his family and… Riku wait!" but Riku already was running down the hall.

Ooo

Cloud was talking with a sad woman, explaining with the help of two officers what they knew of the accident, the woman was crying silently, her husband a little far away was hugging his daughter to keep her from running around, that was the scene till the door open to show Riku.

"Oh… this is my colleague Doctor Riku Dawn, he was with the little one till the end" explained Cloud.

Riku stretched his hand to the crying woman who took it and shake it a little.

"Thank you for that sir" she said between sobs.

"It was nothing… I wish I could have done more"

"I know… I wish… that too" she said letting go of his hand. Riku took the time to notice the little girl on the corner of the room; he got near her and kneeled down to her level. Her father let her go when he noticed she wasn't going to run.

"Hello, what's your name?" he asked.

"I'm Kairi sir" she said on a sweet voice.

"Kairi, huh? I'm Riku, pleasure to meet you" he said extending his hand.

She shook it and repeated "pleasured to meet you"

"Tell me little princess, do you know who Sora is?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

"Sora is Roxas brother, they're my cousins" she chanted.

Riku smile sadly. The little girl might not have grasp the idea of dead yet.

"Yesterday was your birthday right?" he asked.

She nodded again.

"They were going to come today… but they never arrived… Riku knows where they are?" she asked innocently. Taking a deep breath he prepared to continue.

"Somewhere else… somewhere far… together" he said.

"But… then they won't come to my party!" she said annoyed.

Riku laugh before putting a hand on her head.

"Oh, but I have something they gave to me for you" he said.

Everyone was looking at this scene, surprised at how it was developing.

From his pocket, Riku took out a small collar with a silver crown.

"Sora said it was your favorite, and said it was his and his brother's present for you" he said while putting the collar on the little girl's hand.

"This is their's… Momma Sora and Roxy gave me their crown" she said in glee, making her mom laugh a little. Then, all of a sudden, the girl threw herself on Riku's arms giving him a strong hug "Thank you Riku" she said.

He hugged her back, feeling his sadness mixing with happiness, a few tears escaping his eyes.

"Riku is very good, bet Sora will be happy when I told him you gave me my present… someday I'll see them again, right?" she asked.

"Someday… we'll see them again" _"and when that day comes, I'll give you my thanks little one"_

Cloud just smiled at all these. It was nice to have his old friend back, even if something like this was needed.

"_Thank you little one… and welcome back my friend"_

And that's how it is; life is just a temporary plane. And we have really little time to realize that we might not be indispensable but we are always important. Every live touch others and we are part of a great chain. To value life, to accept dead as something natural, to keep in memory those that went away, that's what everything is about, and who knows, maybe one day, we'll see each other in some time, some place.

End.


End file.
